Friday, December 23, 2005

Thought I'd come back and edit this a bit now that I'm not as riled up. I talked to my roomie a little bit ago about the pressure to date/be married at Harding. Then I ran into my "friend" Wes today who reminded me that my biological clock is ticking. WHat the heck?! I'm 19 years old! What is the rush? FYI guys, never use the phrase "biological clock" in any conversation with a woman. I don't want to be married for a long time. (I can almost hear dad letting out a sigh of relief).
I'm in no hurry. Why do people act like it's the end of the world to be female, 20, and unmarried? Conversations like this are the reason i try to keep my meetings with Wes to a bare minimum. Call me crazy but i'm pretty sure I have at least a good 25 years before I have to start worrying about biological clocks. He also suggesed a sex change for me so that I can legitimatly be a missionary. Don't even get me started on that! A sex change? So if I get a penis I will suddenly be able to share Jesus with others? Does that part of the anatomy have some evangelical talents I am unaware of? I'm going now before I break Kara's keyboard.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Thought I'd join in on this game.

Here goes:If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment here on my blog with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished leaving your comment, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.I think this will be fun for all; like a bowl of Skittles and M&M's mixed; a color and a flavor for everyone! "I thought it looked like fun. Anyone up for some fake memories?

Monday, December 12, 2005


So I'm putting off studying for my church planting final. Apparently I pulled a ligament in my index finger at the wheezer/geezer game. Since the ligament is still attached on the right side one half of my finger is bent too far to the right while the bottom half is bent too far to the left. It's a little gross and it hurts to move still. For instance I have trouble opening doors or turning the key in the ignition now because my finger is suprisingly flexible and just twists in funny directions when I try. So I look kinda funny trying. I usually have to switch over to my left hand, have you ever tried turning your car on with your left hand? It's akward. On the bright side of things, I can now lay my hand down flat on a surface and twist the top half of my finger almost completely around the other way, I had unusually flexible fingers before this whole ligament thing, and they used to freak Candy out. But yesterday during church I laid my hand on my bible twisted the top half of my finger around and waved at her with it. She went white. It was hilarious. Well maybe I should study now.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

"Amie"

Nothing unusual, nothing strange
Close to nothing at all
The same old scenario, the same old rain
And there's no explosions here

Then something unusual, something strange
Comes from nothing at all
I saw a spaceship fly by your window
Did you see it disappear?

Amie come sit on my wall
And read me the story of O
And tell it like you still believe
That the end of the century
Brings a change for you and me

Nothing unusual, nothing's changed
Just a little older that's all
You know when you've found it,
There's something I've learned'
Cause you feel it when they take it away

Something unusual, something strange
Comes from nothing at all
But I'm not a miracle
And you're not a saint
Just another soldier
On the road to nowhere

Amie come sit on my wall
And read me the story of O
And tell it like you still believe
That the end of the century
Brings a change for you and me

The journey is never quite what you expect. How very exhausting it is to have to convince yourself that the end might still be what you hoped.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

How wierd it is to be at war with a country and not ever really notice it. It's so easy to forget sometimes especially when you don't really know anyone who is fighting. I've hated this war from the very start. I will refrain from getting into that, my dad's heard it enough, he can fill you all in.

My friend Gabe got called in to Basic training a semester early because the government wants him in Iraq by this summer. He found out yesterday. He leaves tommorow. He doesn't really want to go. My roomie Candy told him he got what he deserved, it was his choice, and she won't feel a bit sorry for him. She won't talk to him. She won't even say goodbye. Gabe has been calling all day in tears. She just hangs up or hands the phone to me. Gabe is crazy about Candy, and Candy is the same way for him though she'd rather burn alive than admit it. If he does get ahold of her to beg her to come say goodbye to him she reminds him she has a test she must study for. But you can't think Candy too harsh, she just really loves him and she hates goodbyes. To her this is him deserting her. And as much as she pretends not to care and scolds me for feeling sad about this, she is going nuts herself. She just sits on her bed and stares at her book reading the same page over and over. And when I came back from my classes today she was very composed and pretended to be very lost in her studies, but there was a mountain of tissues by her and her face was all red and puffy from crying. Candy hardly ever cries.

Gabe won't be coming back, at least if he does we will have graduated by then. He was going to drive me to dallas this christmas, now I will have to ride with Trevor, my only other offer being Chris. The letter who upon seeing me upset over the news from Gabe said only, "Eh, thats life." I just stared at him till he begged off by mumbling some excuse or another.

So the count is:
1.)Ben
2.)Josh
3.)John
4.)Jeremy
and now
5.)Gabe

Five good friends in Iraq or soon to be. I wonder what the odds are that they will make it back o.k. Thankyou Bush.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

And the Laziness Continues

What is your favorite...?

Gum: Bleh! Nasty, vile, substance.
Restaurant: Anne Thai Kitchen (best Thai food in the world!)
Drink: Root beer but only if its in the glass bottle
Season: Fall
Type of weather: Rainy, especially if its warm and you can play in it
Emotion: joy
Thing to do on a half day: Be outside doing anything practically
Late-night activity: Dance
Sport: Basketball
City: Montreal
Store: Barnes and Noble

When was the last time you...?

Cried: maybe a week ago on the phone?
Played a sport: The Wheezer/Geezer Bowl on Thanksgiving Day or does frisbee count?
Laughed: Five minutes ago after our suite mate discovered we stashed our dirty dishes in Candy's closet till after "Goodhouse keeping"checks were done.
Hugged someone: Probably Lucas this afternoon
Kissed someone: Bet, you'd like to know huh Dad?
Felt depressed: Sunday when I found out my club president had intentionally decieved me in an attempt to humilate or punish me
Felt elated: Sunday
Felt overworked: Sunday lol, it was kinda a roller coaster of a day
Faked sick: hmm does it count if you aren't disguising the fact that you're healthy? If not then I'd say while I was dating chris last year.
Lied: Yesterday when I told a teacher I didn't have my homework done so I couldn't put it on the board when really it was the next problem I hadn't done, I wasn't for sure which it was when I'd said it, but I still feel badly about it.


What was the last...?

Word you said: Bye
Thing you ate: pizza
Song you listened to: I say a little prayer for you
Thing you drank: Water with lemon
Movie you saw: Sky High
Movie you rented: Madagascar! A new favorite
Concert you attended: ummm Lifehouse I think?...

Who was the last person you...

Hugged: Lucas
Cried over: Lucas
Kissed: haven't we had some of these already?
Danced with: Shad
Shared a secret with: My friend Jason
Had a sleep over with: My family at Thanksgiving.
Went to a movie with: Talasha, Gabe, and Candy
Saw: My dorm mom
Were angry with: My suite mate
Couldn’t take your eyes off of: Lucas

Have you ever...

Danced in the rain: yes
Kissed someone: yes
Done drugs: umm no not really
Drank alcohol: yes, but I've never been drunk, so really whats the point? hehe just joking dad
Partied 'til the sun came up: umm How are we defining party?
Had a movie marathon: yes, 70's show marathon and a Family guy marathon
Gone too far on a dare: yes, enough said
Spun until you were immensely dizzy: Oh yeah!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Breaking Up

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.
We've sung "Come Thou Fount" in chapel, church, etc alot up here lately in the past month. I love this song. This last verse particularly because it is talking about me. Every time I sing it I am filled with dread at how very prone I am to leaving God. Perhaps that is a good thing. I hope the thought of losing my faith and love of God always terrifies me.
It's not that I flat our defy him and turn away. I just start slipping so gradually that I don't seem to notice it, and that is scary. In some ways I know I am still very naive. I am only just beginning to understand how someone can love someone enough to promise their life to them, only to fall out of love years down the road. Actually I still don't really understand it at all. It would be more acurate to say I am beginning to recognize it as a more prevalent reality, but I imagine it must happen very slowly while at least one of the two parties isn't paying attention. Maybe thats why we are warned so aften in the bible to stay alert.
And God is so easy to love. He's perfect. He will never abandon us, swindle us, or abuse us.And he loves us unconditionally. For a very long time I never understood what was meant by the verse that says we love God because he first loved us. But I have this friend, Wes. He's a mutual friend of quentin and me. But he wasn't always my friend. We fought like crazy. We still do. We are still getting used to being friends. Quentin asked me last week why I had hated Wes so much in high school and I explained that it was because Wes hated me so much. Quentin laughed and said that that was only because I hated him so much. And that made alot of sense. It wasn't until one of us made the effort to love the other one that we became friends. We have no other reason for loving each other than that really. I mean we made each other miserable alot in high school. But it works somehow. If I was asked why I liked him I couldn't really give any other reason than that.
Oh and just a thought on unconditional love, if you were not promised heaven, would you bother with God?